Just Some Thoughts
As I focus on growing spiritually, everyday brings new lessons
and new insights. Sometimes something happens, or I think of
something that may be of use to someone else. I post them here,
and I invite your thoughts on what you read. Or perhaps, you
would share your insights and experiences with me.
Comments are welcome, please log in.
ARCHIVE SUMMARY
View by Date
Sat Sep 12, 2009
Loving Sounds
I was reading one of Byron Katie's books and she said that she loves the sound of the car horn as much as she loves the sound of a bird singing, that she doesn't see one as better than the other. (My words, not hers) This really struck a chord with me because sounds are a challenge for me. Heaven is being in my house all alone with no sounds, just absolute quiet, solitude, and peace. Therefore, I am usually in hell because this is hard to accomplish, maybe impossible.
I recognized right away that I could be in heaven all the time if I stopped judging sound. If I could love what is no matter what it sounded like I would be peaceful and joyous all the time. I also recognize that I can't make myself like something. However, I can ask the Holy Spirit to show me the beauty in each jarring note. That's what I am doing.
[0] comments (110 views) |
[0] Trackbacks
[0] Pingbacks
Thu Jul 09, 2009
Thank You, Michael
It has been very interesting watching everyone's projections and the special love and special hate relationships that have come forward in the wake of Michael's passing. This Son of God has given us an incredible gift with his life and his death. It is always easier to see the exagerated examples (like this) than to recognize the same things on an everyday level.
As I have seen all these examples of the way the ego projects and makes special, I am able to notice which one's trigger my own stuff and allow that to be healed. I am aware that what I see in these people either has a home somewhere in my mind or did at one time, and needs to be forgiven. Thank you, Michael.
I also recognize that if I see a need for forgiveness, then I need to do the work. Salvation is not personal. I can look at what needs to be forgiven and think, "That person has some forgiveness work to do." Or, more effectively, I can simply do it. It doesn't matter which aspect of the mind seems to be carrying the error, it is all one mind so it belongs to all of us. Any one of us has that opportunity to forgive, and any opportunity to forgive is a gift. Thank you, Michael.
Was Michael whacko? Undoubtedly. It is the one thing all of us share in this illusion. We are all insane. One would have to be to think that one could undo creation and become something different. We are like apples on a tree thinking they have succeeded in becomeing oranges. Some aspects of the One choose to experience this insanity in a more obvious way than others.
On a level of soul I wonder if Michael was saying all along, "Wow, so this is what happens when you carry the idea of separation to its obvious conclusion. Look what happens when you believe so entirely that the body is who you are. Look what happens when you look outside yourself for love." Who knows what great leaps he may have taken in this life that, to the rest of us whackos, may have looked like a complete failure. Thank you, Michael.
[0] comments (126 views) |
[0] Trackbacks
[0] Pingbacks
Tue Jun 16, 2009
Wake Up!
I think it is funny now that I once thought the Course was complicated and hard to understand. It is perfectly simple, and it was only my ego mind that was complex and in need of hearing the truth stated over and over in many ways, that prompted the need for such a big book. The Course just keeps telling me that I am part of God. I must be part of God because there is only God. If I think I am something else I must be asleep and dreaming. Wake up!> >
Ha ha, do you think the Holy Spirit in my mind is just an alarm clock set to go off when it is time to wake up? I decided to dream of separation for awhile, but knew I didn't want to sleep for eternity, so I (God Self) set an alarm in my mind to go off when I had dreamed all the variations on separation that there were. > >
The alarm clock by my bed buzzes me awake, but I hear there are alarm clocks that wake you with words. In fact, now that I think about it someone I know had an alarm clock that said, "Wake up, sleepy head." The Holy Spirit is my alarm clock, gently waking me with words of truth. I hear it going off now. "You are part of God. You are not in your story, but just dreaming this story. You are really in God. Wake up, Love, and laugh at such a silly story." > >
Do ya think?
[0] comments (137 views) |
[0] Trackbacks
[0] Pingbacks
Sun Sep 28, 2008
Crisis
Robert Stoelting on view link brought up the economic crisis and I responded to his post.
--- In Following_Holy_Spirit@yahoogroups.com, "Robert & Mary Stoelting" wrote:
>
> Robert: In every moment I have a choice of who I choose as my
> companion. When I choose the ego, I experience lack and loss, guilt and fear. When I choose Holy Spirit, I experience peace, happiness, Love and safety.
Lesson 156 tells us that we make this choice a thousand times a day.
When I journaled on lesson 156 last year I commented that my mind is like teflon. The truth just doesn't seem to stick to it. But like Robert says, I chose ego consistently for life times and now it really does require a lot of vigilance to choose differently. It requires a great deal of vigilance just to notice I have chosen the ego. But this vigilance does pay off. I am seldom caught by ego storms unaware anymore. When I do get caught in one, I am quick to choose differently. I can tell the difference in my life because it is much more peaceful and I am much happier.
Robert says:
> With the "economic crisis" that is the major topic of discussion and
> news in the U.S., this is a time to heighten our vigilance to choose our mighty Companion, Who reminds us in each moment that all of God's abundance is ours. God's Son cannot be harmed, for he remains eternally as Love created him.
This is indeed a good time to be very vigilant. One cannot help but be affected by the energy of fear and anxiety that is pervading our society right now. Here in Louisiana we have additional anxiety caused by two destructive hurricanes back to back which caused damage in areas of the state that have never experienced hurricane damage. It causes people to feel fearful of the unknown and uncontrollable.
Just because I am touched by this general anxiety does not mean I have to accept it or believe it. I have a choice about this. As I listen to Holy Spirit within my mind I remember what this is for. Whatever happens in my life is a result of my desire to have it there. I take full responsibility for it. The economic crisis as well as the hurricane are my responsibility even though it does not appear to be so if you look only with ego eyes.
I gladly accept that responsibility and forgive within mind the beliefs, the perceptions of lack and the perceptions of fear, the need to defend through attack and all the other perceptions that result in the creation of chaos in the illusion. As the Ho'oponopono process suggests, I look at what I have done and I say "I'm sorry, Please forgive me, I love you, Thank you."
The ego wants to object and say that I didn't have anything to do with this and even if I did in some metaphysical way, it was only a little bit and lots of other people are more responsible. I just laugh at the ego. There is only one mind and salvation is not personal. We are one and we are, as one, 100% responsible.
So I treat a national crisis in the same way I treat a family crisis. I look at my thoughts, beliefs, perceptions and I forgive them. I ask Holy Spirit to be with me while I look with complete honesty and fearlessness and without guilt at all I have thought which contributed to this situation. I then ask Him to correct my thoughts and heal my mind. This is what the crisis is for; it is what the hurricanes are for.
Robert says:
> My heart is filled with gratitude that a mighty Companion walks with me Who's strength is mine and with His help I can walk the world certain of my safety.
I, too, am grateful to the Holy Spirit. I am filled with such gratitude that I cannot even find words to express it. I am also grateful to all the enlightened help that surrounds me. Some are not in body, but stand ready to support me at my request. I now choose to call on that help, help from my angels and my guides and however that might appear. In the past I pretty much ignored that possibility, but as I have learned how powerful is the support and help of my in-body mighty companions, I have also begun to call on help from those who are out of body. I gladly and gratefully accept the loving support of every part of the Sonship that stands ready to do this service.
Robert, thank you for bringing this up for healing within mind. I am grateful to you, too, providing this healing opportunity for me. It has been on many minds and I have been teaching/learning it for a few days now, but talking about it here in this group has helped me to further my own healing.
I love you.
Myron
[0] comments (213 views) |
[0] Trackbacks
[0] Pingbacks
Wed Sep 10, 2008
More from Sonja on the Hurricane Experience
Myron,
I am happy to share. Words seem too weak to convey the strength of the feelings they are meant to carry, but I trust that Spirit delivers what I would teach myself.
Last week, again, exactly one week ago today, I spent a fitful night. My home was not livable, it had several inches of water in it, a limb through the roof, a tree leaning against the house, my generator malfunctioned and couldn't be used, and again I slept at my folks home around the corner.
We didn't use the generators at night as they are so loud, so I slept in my brother's old bedroom with an open window. It was hot, and each time a car passed the light would shine directly in the bedroom. Not exactly pleasant circumstances, and not conducive to good sleeping.
Sometime in the middle of the night I awoke and went straight to ego. In the few years since I've studied ACIM, Way of Mastery and NTI, I've been blessed to give up that behavior, so I'm unaccustomed to it.
But, in the heat of the night, I forgot.
As I chewed I thought of those who just didn't understand. My employers are in another city and on Tuesday last week had no idea what had really happened in my city. They are a few hours north of us and didn't receive the full strength of the storm and figured we didn't either.
They spent the day Tuesday calling and demanding to know why my employees weren't at work, why no one was answering phones (cell phone service was so spotty and home phones were nonexistant), and ended the day with a call telling me that my employees wouldn't get paid as I hadn't sent in payroll and I could answer them when their paychecks were non-existant.
My neighbor's tree was also an issue I visited. That tree should have been cut years ago. The neighbor allowed a scrub tree to grow for 40 years and each storm the 20 foot limbs came crashing in on my home. He and his wife are now elderly, she in a walker, but they've known that the tree is dangerous to all in the area and simply wouldn't spend the money to get it removed. Those tree limbs did major damage in Rita and again in Gustav. This time it also damaged their home and property. The man is old now but that tree should never have been allowed to stay....
Are you smiling yet? As I chewed, I knew that if everyone would just realize these things, my life would be happy.
Holy Spirit, glorious, glorious, Spirit would interrupt those ego thoughts, Thank you God, for interrupting that hell to say,
"So you're a victim, huh?"
I smiled.
Spirit then asked why I would make this hell real. The readings Spirit had Guided me to in NTI for days before and during the storm had all focused on passages which told me over and over "this world is not real". Again, I'd love to recall them specifically, but the message is Truth even if I don't remember the page numbers.
The Truth is that this world is NOT real. These images were NOT real. These thoughts were not Truth. Why, Spirit asked, would I seek to make THIS my reality?
My neighbor is innocent. My employers were innocent. I am not a victim of the world I see. I LOVE those guys!
I smiled, in fact, I laughed out loud in the middle of the night. I thought of a fellow zebra facing a different storm in form, not weather related but just as devastating in form. I prayed and asked God to hold my friend in the Light and to feel my Love and our Father's Love.
Instantly, Peace descended. The Divine Inner Smile, came forward. It is so strong I feel it physically as well as in Truth. And I rested there, smiling and letting Love wash over me.
And, as had been foretold by a fellow zebra, exactly one week ago today, Our Father "manifested" a working generator, arms to move limbs and branches and trees, a patched roof, a dry floor, complete paychecks for my employees, employers who loved and appreciated my employees and were understanding of their situations.
There was Peace, there was Truth and there was Love. All things worked for God.
Ain't God Grand?
In love,
Sonja
[0] comments (233 views) |
[0] Trackbacks
[0] Pingbacks
Tue Sep 09, 2008
Sonja's Experience With Hurricane Gustav
My loving friends,
Today marks the day in form, one week ago, when the hurricane passed and the floods came in my world of form. I've been busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest, so I have not had the opportunity to share much of anything helpful. In form as well as in the Sonship things were blustery.
I will share what Holy Spirit Guided me to this morning.
The first is to thank you for your prayers.
The Medical Intuitive Carolyn Myss tells two wonderful stories about prayer in her CDs. The first regards a woman in a car crash, the second involves Carolyn herself meeting a Heavenly Being who tells her that every prayer is heard and no prayer is unanswered. Now I know EXACTLY what she means.
I weathered the storm at my parents' home around the corner from my own. I did during the last near-hit we humans named Rita, and this direct hit from a storm we named Gustav was no different.
It is my Mother's habit to view the movie of the storm from her screened in back porch. It is an elaborate structure which is safe and also provides a powerful movie as we watch the trees bend and snap and the branches fall and see the weather vane swing too and fro as the winds change.
South was the direction I had been told would be beneficial to my home and make it safe from limbs falling from my neighbor's tree. East was the direction my parents cheered for so that the pecan tree in their neighbor's yard would not fall upon their home. It is better than any movie at the theater, but without the popcorn.
As the gusts became more powerful and more sustained, and the walls of rain obscured the view of anything but water, I felt fear come over me.
I had already had the message from Spirit days earlier that all was going to be well, so I hadn't engaged in much fear. But the sight of all the drama in form for hours and the sound of the wind screaming at one point became more than I could ignore.
I went into the house and felt cold hard fear.
We were by that time on generator electricity, having lost power hours earlier, and I went into a dark room and sat on the couch. As I closed my eyes I could see the images of the outside trees swaying violently.
Spirit delivered the message that I was making the images very real and I was Guided not to watch the movie Hurricane Gustav. As I did so, I felt the full fear wash over me. It was a fear so large that it didn't even feel as if it came from me, it seemed to be larger than I was.
I realized that throughout my geographic area there were folks in fear and that our collective joining in this thought was making the images very real indeed. Fear of the storm was making it's way into the hearts and minds of those throughout my area.
My next thought was of you. I thought of all the loving Mighty Companions throughout the country, throughout the world, throughout the Sonship who were holding the Light for us.
And I breathed.
Holy Spirit Guided me to know that as I pray for the Sonship, as I make the images not real, as I felt the love wash over me, I would know the Truth that no storm was stronger than the Love of God.
I picked up NT and starting reading by the light of the generator. I wish I could tell you what it was I read, but I have no recollection. I can only tell you I felt the full force of the love being focused and I joined you all there.
I am so very grateful. I share this story with you as the Gulf Coast braces for another storm. It doesn't really matter what area of the geographical area it focuses on, the Sonship welcomes our Light and our Love. I join you there.
I thanked those zebras personally whose love I felt over the phone just when I needed it most. Myron with her calm and consistant love that radiates through the Sonship, Roy who heard me have an ego meltdown when I was so very tired and overwhelmed and promptly hung up the phone and "sent me" the biggest burst of loving energy I had ever felt, and all of your prayers and love.
I am so very grateful.
I know this is a long email but I wanted to pass on the second message that Spirit shared this morning. My hometown has never been directly impacted by a hurricane. We've had near misses, felt the winds and floods, but no one can remember our area being hit directly as we're far from the coast.
PAY ATTENTION. Lessons delivered in unusual ways are lessons that don't get delivered each and every day in form. They are unusual in nature and bring up forgiveness and mind-watching opportunities that do not get uncovered during my daily routines.
The full brunt of a storm happens after it passes. The lessons continue during the times when you are too busy to meditate, too distracted to pray, too angry to forgive and too ill from the smells and sights to remember...They continue when you walk into a building that a customer is desperate to have your company clean and the ceiling tile is laying on the ground in heaps and you take one look at it and realize you are standing in piles of asbestos and feel it burn your lips and your nostrils....
I am not a victim of the world I see.
There is no storm or thought more real than God.
Every opportunity I get to see God, to extend love and to receive it as well is a joyous occasion. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You stand as very powerful and dedicated symbols of Awakening.
I am so grateful to you all. I feel you here with me, and today is officially "Gratitude Day".
In love,
Sonja
[0] comments (237 views) |
[0] Trackbacks
[0] Pingbacks
Sun Sep 07, 2008
Beyond the Thinking Mind or Another One is Coming
--- In ACIMZEBRAS@yahoogroups.com, Regina Akers wrote:>
> Beyond the thinking mind
> within the heart
> there is reason and knowledge
> that guides you.
When I got up this morning, I knew that there was something going on in my mind that I was not acknowledging. It was not immediately obvious to me what it was. I didn't feel strong emotions, but I noticed that I stayed in bed longer than I needed to, and that I didn't really want to get up. I would have fallen back to sleep if I could have. I knew there was something to look at, something that was disturbing my peace but I didn't know what it was.
When I tried to think it through, my mind felt foggy. I couldn't see clearly or get a grip on anything in particular. I picked up the closest book which was The Way of Mastery. I opened it to this question: Where am I perceiving myself as a victim of the world I see? So I decided to look at that. Immediately several circumstances came to mind and I knew that this was my problem this morning. I also knew that I could not solve this with the ego's help. I had to get out of my thinking mind.
>
> When you are lost from the heart,
> caught up within the stories
> of the thinking mind,
> you are lost from this reason
> and from this knowledge.
> This is why you suffer.
> You do not know your Self.
I started where I was. I decided to write down a list of the stories I was telling myself about victimhood and then write about each one. I started with the first thing that came to mind. There is another hurricane out there. I saw that I hated the idea of another hurricane. I thought about the cost of the last evacuation and knew that it would put a serious strain on my budget to do it again. I know my daughter simply does not have the money to pay for another one. I heard people talking about not evacuating because they could not afford it.
I thought about how much I dreaded the whole process; worrying and fretting, being uncertain about tomorrow and then the packing and making decisions about what to bring and what to leave. I thought about the destruction, the loss of property, the danger to those who remain behind. I thought, specifically, about how hard I have worked to get my little house finished so I can move out of my daughter's house and how close I am to having it completed, and wondered if I would have to start over. It made me tired just to think about it.
I thought about my loss of income. I work for commissions and when a hurricane hits anywhere in the state I have customers who are not using my product and who are not receiving deliveries. It is going to make for a very small paycheck and now it may well get even smaller.
I was telling myself a lot of stories about this hurricane. I was believing them and so I was suffering. My stories were confusing me about who I am and that causes me to suffer.
>
> Let go of the stories
> by not believing them,
> and listen intently
> to the silent reason
> and knowledge
> of the heart.
> ~From our Holy Spirit.>
> www.reginadawnakers.com
Writing it all down allowed me to acknowledge what was in my mind and to own it as self caused. Doing it with the Holy Spirit allowed me to do it without guilt or fear. I allowed my mind to rest a moment and opened my heart to the Holy Spirit. I felt such love and gratitude to this Voice for God. At first I was confused because I didn't hear words, and then realized I didn't need words because I felt peace wash over me.
I understood that I had been giving value where there was no value. I realized that there is no real value in holding onto this little part of the illusion and that the only reason I felt anxiety was because I had mistakenly thought there was. As soon as I let go of the need for the illusion to remain in a certain form, all the fear fell away.
As I quit believing the ego stories of disaster, I was able to listen to the truth. I know that this MUST be the perfect experience for me now. I know that my only purpose is to allow God to extend love through me in each moment of this experience. So all I need to do is to give my willingness to this and ask the Holy Spirit how He would have me love. I can choose only love or fear, so in choosing love the fear dissolves.
[0] comments (239 views) |
[0] Trackbacks
[0] Pingbacks
Wed Sep 03, 2008
Last Day of Evacuation With Holy Spirit
They lifted the mandatory evacuation yesterday so that we could go home. There was no damage at my home because we barely caught any of the storm. In fact, a friend told me the mayor made an announcement on TV. He said that there had been a report of a twig in the road somewhere in town and he wanted to assure everyone a crew was right on it. Ha ha ha.
This is the way it is sometimes. If the path of a hurricane is near you, but uncertain, and if you live near the coast you really need to leave. I think that because of the devastation left by Katrina and Rita so recently, they over reacted and got everyone out sooner than they needed to. It causes a financial hardship for a lot of people.
Now that I am home I am looking around at the mess my room is. I have a lot of things boxed in plastic containers and since there are three possible hurricanes in the gulf I hesitate to take everything out. I'm thinking about it.
When I read Regina's single quiet thought this morning I realized that, once again, it is very helpful for what is going on with me.
--- In ACIMZEBRAS@yahoogroups.com, Regina Akers wrote:
>
> One way to let go of
> the thinking in the thinking mind
> is to watch it.
>
> Pay attention to the stories it tells,
> not from a point of involvement and belief,
> but from the perspective of learning.
>
> What are these stories telling you?
> How are they teaching you to see the world?
> What are they asking you to expect from your brothers?
>
> Are these stories helpful?
> If not, why are you listening?
>
> ~From our Holy Spirit
I noticed that I was beginning to feel annoyed about little things that were happening, and with people who I came in contact with, people and things that would not ordinarily have bothered me at all. The truth is, when I felt that first twinge of annoyance, I felt ashamed and rather than really looking, I pushed it down where I wouldn't have to see it. I busied myself with things and pretended I was not the small selfish person the ego was telling me I was. As a result of not looking at it with the Holy Spirit right that moment and allowing Him to correct my thinking, these kinds of thoughts kept popping up repeatedly during the course of the evacuation. They were like little splinters continually causing me discomfort, but not enough pain to motivate me to allow healing.
Of course, like splinters, if left to fester these unhealed thoughts tend to get out of hand, and before you know it I had become this bundle of reactivity. Everything people did seemed to be an attack on me personally and I reacted to them. I felt bad about that and of course the ego loves it when I feel guilty. That just reinforces fear thoughts and a sense of separation. Thank God I have had a lot of practice turning this kind of thing over to the Holy Spirit. Even though it took me a while to get to it, I forgave myself for all the projections I put on others.
It was easier to do this forgiveness work because I was noticing the stories the ego tells me. When I pay attention to them it is easy to see that these stories are not true and that they do not make me happy. Then I am more willing to relinquish them by allowing the Holy Spirit to correct my thinking.
[0] comments (214 views) |
[0] Trackbacks
[0] Pingbacks
Tue Sep 02, 2008
Day 3 of Evacuating With the Holy Spirit
Day 3 of Evacuating With the Holy Spirit
--- In ACIMZEBRAS@yahoogroups.com, Regina Akers wrote:>
> Your mind is closed
> when it busies itself
> with thinking and defining,
> deciding and ideas.
This morning I woke up to a text message from my son saying that I could get information on whether we could go home if I logged onto the local TV website. They will make an announcement in a couple of hours. I think they will let us in today, but I won't know for sure until I hear it from them. I called my house and the answering machine came on so I know I have power.
From the time I woke up until a few minutes ago, I noticed that I was getting more and more anxious. I was wondering with the ego mind if I could go home and what I should do about work and whether I have any damage. I was seeing that there are three more systems out there that will probably turn into hurricanes and I could wind up evacuating again in a few days. I was thinking, planning and deciding and I couldn't seem to stop. I felt like a victim to my own mind.
I decided that I would do my Christ meditation. I began with reminding myself that I AM Christ, that my Father and I ARE one, and that I am that I am. It took awhile to achieve peace. My mind kept going to plans and ideas. I relaxed and remembered that the ego is just a small sliver within the Mind that I am. I set the ego in motion and it is going to continue, but I do not have to give credence to what it says. I am not the victim of the ego any more than I am the victim of the hurricane.
My chosen belief system (ego) set all of what is happening in motion. The belief in separation birthed all sorts of other beliefs and those beliefs birthed the many dramas we experience in this world of ours. So I am not the victim, but the maker of all this. I am also the one who chooses what I want to believe in and how I want to experience things.
Yesterday we decided to enjoy our evacuation. It was a true vacation day. My son Scott who lives in Houston and who we don't see often recommended that we get together as a family for lunch at Papacitos, a well known Mexican restaurant, and what a good idea that was! I evacuated with my daughter, Sheryl and two grandkids, who I live with. And my son Toby and his girlfriend, Renee, who evacuated from New Orleans joined us. It was great!
It was really good to see Toby eating lunch without becoming violently ill. He has had something wrong with his stomach for months and for awhile there he was throwing up everytime he ate. He had lost a lot of weight and was looking bad. I had worried and fretted for a long time through this illness. At the end of July I asked friends to pray with me at a specific time. I felt the power of that prayer as a very palpable thing.
Immediately as I sat down to do my part, I felt the loving energy of that praying wash over me. It was so strong that I silently wept through the entire thing. I immediately felt healed of the anxiety and doubts that had plagued me. I heard the question, "Do you love this man enough to allow him his experience?" And I knew that I did. And that was it. I think of him now and I feel nothing but love; there is no need for him to have any certain experience just to make me feel good. Of course I would like to see him choose a happy experience, but his choices do not affect how I feel. I feel compassion because I know how it feels to choose ego over God, but I don't feel the need to convince him of anything, nor do I feel sick that he is sick.
I didn't think he accepted the healing, but I knew it was there for him when he wanted it. Slowly he has started to feel better and now, while he is still nauseous a lot of the time he has stopped throwing up. He sees the healing as a slow recovery that would have happened anyway and doesn't think the prayers had anything to do with it. I see it as our minds being connected, and our light shining into his mind illuminating the truth. He is accepting it in the only way he can, a little at a time. I don't feel any need to convince him of the power of prayer. God does not need defense. He will accept that healing when he is ready for it.
From Regina:
Leave the mind open
by listening to the heart.
It speaks too
although its Voice is quieter
and it does not use words.
Using the vehicle of my Christ meditation I have been able to Leave my mind open to hear the quiet Voice. I am feeling very peaceful again. Yesterday after lunch we took my my two year old granddaughter, Macey, to the children's museum. We loved seeing her have so much fun. So when Toby called to see if I wanted to go to the Museum of Natural History, I was excited to join him. Nothing out there has changed; there are still the same questions and problems, but how I feel about them has totally changed. Without the anxiety I feel better, my body is healthier, my relationships undamaged by stressful responses. I am so grateful.
From Regina:
The mind can put words
to the message of the heart.
When it does this,
the mind is not thinking.
It is listening.
~From our Holy Spirit
www.reginadawnakers.com
I have done my best to put into words what I have experienced and felt this morning. It is not easy to do, and I have not expressed the healing that takes place when I am finally able to make the decision to be healed. But I do feel intense gratitude for the peace that envelopes me now. I am willing to notice when my awareness is focused on ego and to shift that awareness to the Holy Spirit. I am willing to do this all day today.
[0] comments (206 views) |
[0] Trackbacks
[0] Pingbacks
From My Lessons
Your peace is with me, Father. I am safe.
Now that I have been studying the Course for a number of years I have
a certain perspective. I can look back and see how I have changed,
though like most words we use, change is not really accurate. I have
not changed, being a changeless creation of God. A better way to say
it would be I can look back and see myself as I appeared while deeply
engaged in the ego, and compare that to myself as I am slowly
revealed. It looks like layers of the mask are falling away as I
allow the ego thoughts to be corrected by the Holy Spirit, and so it
looks like I have changed.
One apparent difference is that I now understand better than I did
before, that there is indeed nothing for me to do in the world. I
will do things, of course, as directed and guided, but it is
different than I imagined. I used to think that once I knew something
worth sharing I would be a teacher, a guide, a minister, a writer.
Maybe I would do workshops or speak in public. Well, I do all those
things, but that is not what I am here to do. Those are just outward
forms of the one thing that makes a difference.
I forgive. The effects of forgiveness look like peace, love, joy. I
express those effects in my writing, talks, counseling and all the
things which occupy my time. I could do none of those things and
still the effect would be peace, and that would be a gift to all I
meet. If I met no one, the peace would spread throughout the Sonship
anyway because the Sonship is mind, not bodies. I really need do
nothing to make any of this happen. All I need to do is forgive and
everything else happens naturally.
My ego mind had a lot of resistance to this idea at first. It balked
at the thought of having so little importance in the scheme of things
and insisted there was much to be done, and so it kept me quite busy
and distracted. But there is the part of my mind that knows the
truth, and so I just kept forgiving behind all the busyness. Slowly I
surrendered to the thought that I need do nothing, that I am not
special, and that all things are done not by me, but through me. I
surrendered to the realization that I am a vessel for God, and in no
way the director or creator of that Force. It does not feel like a
loss. It feels like peace.
And so I give peace more the way God gives, simply having peace and
so being peace I give peace. It extends itself naturally with no
effort on my part. Everything goes as it was meant to go until I
decide I want something else. I fully understand the phenomena of
only being able to handle so much happiness and then retreating into
fear for awhile. But another apparent change I am noting is that over
the years, those retreats are further apart and don't last as long.
I might give up my peace a dozen times in a day, but I notice I have
done it and change my mind rather quickly. I used to go from one
drama to another with only brief moments of respite, so this is quite
a difference. Now, once in a while, maybe once a month, I look at
some deeply held ego thought and it may take two or three days to get
through it. But even that is better because it is more deliberate. I
choose to look so that I can allow healing. And even in the chaos of
an ego storm, there is a calm center which holds onto to the truth.
This is my observer, I think, the decision maker who is watching the
effects of ego thinking and deciding which teacher to follow, and in
the end, always chooses peace.
One thing that remains a mystery to me is that when I broach some ego
thought I am attached to, I still feel a very strong ego response. I
can be deeply afraid or angry. Guilt can be almost overwhelming. It
is a foregone conclusion how I will choose in the end, so why this
visceral reaction as I look at the ego belief? Depending on how much
of my value system is invested in this ego belief, it can feel like a
little quake shaking the structure of my belief system. The good
thing about it is that all that shaking makes it impossible to
pretend nothing is happening. I am very aware that something needs to
be looked at with the Holy Spirit.
Holy Spirit, You know what I am ready to look at. I am patient and
loving with myself, as I can afford to be since you assure me that I
am as God created me and so there is no danger of failure. I will not
fail to accept correction of all ego thinking. I will not fail to
wake up. I surrender to the process.
[0] comments (229 views) |
[0] Trackbacks
[0] Pingbacks
|