Miracles Practitioner Courses through Pathways of Light®

These are from a couple of the processes in Pathways of Light® Course 905: Special Relationships vs. Holy Relationships

I was asked to read Chapter 7, Section VII, Paragraphs 2-3 and then to share with my mind healing partner what I want to reinforce in my awakening. This is what I wrote:

If, in my mind, my brother is lacking anything, it then becomes possible for me to lack as well. I have brought the possibility of lack into my mind, and so I have lost my peace. I have had some experience dealing with this in the extreme. I was married to a man diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic. If you have never been around someone with this problem it would be hard to explain how strongly the ego uses this disorder to convince us that we are flawed.

It just seems so obvious. I could not have chosen a better way to convince myself that I am, indeed, different from my brother. In fact, I was terrified of the idea that we were not different. And yet, I can see that his brain disorder was not who he was. There were bright and beautiful moments of sanity which showed me the glory that lay behind the craziness that we both believed was him.

It was not till later that I was able to recognize his courage, and the unflagging love. Those were glimpses of the truth in him. The schizophrenia was a lie. He and I chose to share a little part of this lesson, and as fearful as I was when it was happening, I am eternally grateful to him for allowing me to learn with him.

The ego’s picture of you is deprived, unloving and vulnerable. This is certainly the ego’s picture of Charlie. It was the picture my ego showed me. It was picture I saw for myself while I believed it about Charlie. Charlie and I are really one, and so what is true for him is true for me. When I forgave the picture I had of him, I made it possible to forgive my own ego illusions. This is the only truth of both of us.
 

What specialness means to me. Pg 3

Specialness means I am separate and unique. Every time I say I am anything, I am expressing my desire to be special. For instance, if I say I am Myron Jones, I am a minister, I am a woman, I am a mother, I am overweight, I am kind, I am a sales person. Each of those descriptions further separates me from the Sonship. Each of those descriptions insures that I am not you.

I will go to great lengths to maintain my specialness. I will even be very sick if it will guarantee that I am special. I will be very miserable, more miserable than everyone else, if that will make me different.

If I am special, unique, different, separate, then how did I get like that? If I am those things, then I must not have been created by God because God is whole and complete. If God is not my Father, then who is? Voila, the ego is given birth so that it can birth me. Oh my, how complicated this is becoming. How insane!

So my specialness proves that I God is not my Father. It helps distance me from God who I think is mad at me for walking away from Him. That is its purpose, to hide my identity from myself and to hide me from God. I have made an entire world of specialness in which to hide. It requires all my energy and vigilance to keep this illusion going. I think that I am in battle with God over who I am. The fear and guilt this induces is the glue that holds my world together.

God created me as part of Him; whole and perfect and powerful, with no needs whatever. I shattered this picture and saw myself as separate from every other shattered piece; separate in my body, my mind, and my will. In my separation I became weak and vulnerable, the opposite of what God created me to be. And now I do battle with God every moment of my life to maintain the illusion that I made myself into something different than what God created. I fight for Authorship of myself. God wants me to be part of Him, instead I fight to be Myron. How weird is that?


What I am learning about the thought system of specialness.

I am learning that the thought system of specialness was founded on the idea that I could make myself something that God did not create. This thought system seeks to separate and make special, and therefore unlike God. It makes its home in the body.

This is an illusion, but because I want it to be true, it appears true to me. I have made many devices to keep this illusion going. Guilt is the primary glue that holds it together. Specialness has the purpose of limiting God and therefore limiting love. As long as I willingly support this sick thought system, my relationships will be sick.

I am unable to simply discard the entire thought system. I made it and therefore believe in it and love it. However, God has given me a way out of it. I can, with the Holy Spirit’s help, gradually and gently release it a thought at a time. Each time I bring a thought that supports specialness to the Holy Spirit for correction, I experience healing and the results motivate me to do it again. The more this happens, the more joyful my life becomes and the more motivated I am to continue. Only my vigilance against these sick thoughts will heal me.